Awkward
by ArwenLalaith
Summary: Tag to 'Fear and Loathing'. Sometimes, things get worse before they get better... Co-written with Confetti Leaves.


Emily sighed in relief as she packed up her bags and got ready to go home. As she got ready to leave her desk, she felt Morgan watching her again as he left for Hotch's office – he had been watching her since their brief conversation on the plane. She was sure his conversation with the young genius had something to do with her. But then again, she might just be hallucinating.

After that kiss in Morgan's apartment several weeks ago, things had been a little awkward between them. She had made it a point to pretend that the kiss had never happened and that she wasn't attracted to him in any way, but things don't always go the way you want them to...

After their conversation, it became clear that she liked him far more than she'd previously realized, especially after she found out that he liked Kurt Vonnegut as much as she did. What woman wouldn't be attracted to a man who had brains, brawn and, not to mention, good looks?

Deciding that she had to avoid him until she got over her attraction towards him, she was making it a point to make as little contact with him as possible and keep things between them professional and platonic.

As she was about to leave, she caught Reid eyeing her with a very suspicious smile. "Is everything okay, Reid?" she asked, cocking her head to the side, sending him a pointed look.

The young profiler glanced towards Hotch's office, as if to make sure no one was watching them before turning back to Emily. "Morgan thinks he's sending you the wrong kind of message, but I think he secretly likes you."

"What do you mean he 'secretly likes me'?" she asked, giving him a skeptical look.

"Oh, come on," Reid said, rolling his eyes, "Don't tell me you haven't noticed. Even _I _noticed...and I don't pick up on anything."

"I don't think..." she started to deny. It was as much about convincing herself as it was about convincing Reid – she couldn't let herself believe that there was a chance he might actually have feelings for her. It was hard enough trying to convince herself there was nothing between them after that kiss, that it had just been a spur of the moment thing, but the truth was that they couldn't pursue anything.

"I _do _think..." Reid insisted, "You have to have noticed all the flirting. I'm telling you, in all the time I've known Morgan, I've never seen him act like this with any other woman..."

"Even so," she said, trying to stand firm on her argument, despite the fact that his words had breathed life into the quickly growing fires of hope, "It's a moot point – even if there was something there, we couldn't pursue it."

He gave her a look that clearly asked if she was sure about that, but said nothing more, walking away with a mysterious smile, leaving her with a lot to think about.

Emily stood at her desk for several moments, slightly dumbfounded, silently considering her options. Ignoring her growing feelings for Morgan was harder than she ever thought it could be. Clearly, they had somehow crossed the line dividing friends and co-workers from something more before they even realized. Even Reid had picked up something, which could only mean that the rest of the team saw that there could be something between them.

As much as she wanted to tell herself that the kiss in his apartment was a mistake, she couldn't deny that it was the best kiss she'd had in years or, quite possibly, in her entire life. That only made it harder for her to ignore that little voice in her head, telling her to follow her heart and go for Morgan.

"Prentiss." A pause, waiting for her attention. "Emily."

The gentle yet masculine voice slowly roused her out of her reverie. "What?" she asked after snapping out of it. She was a little startled to find Morgan watching her carefully and blushed when she realized his hand had come to rest on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern clear in his voice. "You've been staring into space for a while..."

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied with the same awkward smile she had given him several weeks back. "I should go," she said, her stomach growling loudly, causing to blush. "Sorry."

"It's alright," he winked, chuckling quietly. "Wanna go grab dinner? I know a diner that serves really good burgers and milkshakes."

"I don't know..." she hesitated.

He looked at her consideringly for a moment and she was sure he understood where her reluctance was coming from. But he didn't say anything and she was immensely thankful for it. "Come on," he persisted, "It's just dinner – just dinner between two friends." She still seemed on the fence, so he fixed her with his puppy-dog look. "Please? This doesn't have to be awkward..."

She bit her lip, smiling softly and sighed. She knew she just couldn't say no to a face like that. He was doing his part to keep thing between them light and fun, just like they were before the kiss, she had to do her part too. Besides, ignoring him would only make things more awkward between them.

"Sure," she smiled. "I could use a good cheeseburger."

...

An awkward silence reigned over the booth they were in after the waitress left with their orders. Emily looked away, pretending to be studying the occupants of the diner, but Morgan knew better. She was trying to look occupied so she wouldn't look awkward to him.

He sighed quietly. As much as they wanted everything to go back to normal between them, there was always this awkward tension surrounding them. The harder he tried to convince himself that Emily was just a friend to him, the more he wanted her as more than a friend. He just kept finding little habits and interests of hers refreshing and adoring to him. The more he knew about her, the more he found himself being drawn to her.

It wasn't hard to guess what was on her mind, considering that it was undoubtedly the same thing that was constantly on his mind. Their mutual unspoken decision had been not to talk about it, to pretend that it had never happened – simply because that seemed like the fastest and easiest way to make things go back to normal without the sexual tension ruining their friendship. But the problem was, it was interfering with their friendship anyways. And he didn't like that.

"What's going on with you? You've been acting different lately..." he asked, broaching the subject in a roundabout way.

"Really? I haven't noticed," she lied, feigning a smile.

He sighed. He didn't blame her for ignoring the problem because it was easiest to pretend that the problem didn't exist, but the fact was that it did exist. "We both know that's a lie."

"What about you? You've been acting distant too." Instantly, she regretted blurting out her frustrations because it was almost as if she had admitted that she was hurt by his actions. "I don't think I want that burger that much anymore," she sighed, "I should go. I'll see you on Monday."

Morgan didn't know what possessed him to do it, but when Emily tried to slide out of the booth, he moved and settled beside her, effectively trapping her between him and the wall. "We have to talk about it, Emily."

"We don't have to," she insisted. "You promised this doesn't have to be awkward."

"I know, but sometimes, things get worse before they get better," he said apologetically, feeling bad that he couldn't keep his promise. "We tried ignoring it, but that obviously isn't working. We have to talk about it, okay?"

She let out a slow, measured breath, anticipating whatever followed to be extremely uncomfortable because, as awkward as it was to let the tension bubble up under the surface, letting it out into the open was going to change everything.

"This is stupid," she muttered, shaking her head, "It was one kiss, I should be able to be a grown-up about it."

"It's _not_ stupid," he said quietly, "There were two of us there that night and I clearly haven't been dealing with this as well I as I could have..."

"What should we do now? I can't look at you and not think about that kiss. Even when I'm not looking at you, I think about it," she sighed, admitting that he had constantly been on her mind over the past couple of weeks.

"Well, it was a really good kiss," he argued lightly.

"Morgan, that's not helping."

He let out a heavy breath, looking at her seriously. "Look, it's constantly on my mind too. No use pretending that the kiss never happened, we know that doesn't work."

"So, what are we gonna do about it? I hate having to be awkward and distant around you..."

"I hate that too," he whispered. Pausing for a moment, he considered the consequences of telling her the truth about his growing attraction for her. In his heart, he somehow knew that she liked him as more than just a friend too, but saying it aloud would change everything.

"So, what, we just acknowledge it and move on? Because that doesn't seem..." she trailed off, not entirely sure of how to finish or how she felt about that suggestion, but completely sure of what she wanted the answer to be. "Won't it be awkward to admit that we have feelings for each other and then date other people?"

He stopped her, "I don't like it when you date other guys."

"What?" she asked, taken aback.

"I don't want you to date other guys," he repeated seriously.

"Morgan, I..." she stammered.

"What you said the other day, about being on a date, that killed me. I wasn't expecting it at all, but this jealousy just came rushing forth and, to be honest, a part of me was glad that it didn't work out because I don't want you to date him – or anyone else for that matter – I want you to date _me_."

She was silent for what felt like an eternity, her mouth slightly agape as she tried to process what he'd just admitted.

He quickly tried to compensate for his extreme vulnerability, "If that's not something you can handle, that's fine. I mean, we do work together and it would be breaking the rules...but I just needed you to know that..."

She held up a hand to stem the tide of words. "I don't know, Morgan," she whispered, "I really like you too, but we work together..."

He took her hands in his and leaned in close, whispering, "Don't think, don't compartmentalize. Just feel – what does your heart want?"

His velvet voice soothed her, gently caressing her like the waves lapping on the shore and that little voice in the back of her head telling her to follow her heart grew louder than she could ever ignore. "You." She shut her eyes and squeezed his hand, whispering quietly, "I want you."

She didn't have to look at him to know that he was grinning from ear to ear. He leaned in to kiss her and almost immediately, she felt her whole body relax as if she'd been holding a breath since the first time his lips had come crashing down on hers.

The kiss left her feeling like he'd sucked all the air from her lungs and she couldn't last one single second longer without taking a breath. "Wow..." was all she could say, the best part the knowledge that the next words out of her mouth didn't have to be ones of regret or refusal. But, at the same time, it wasn't like she could just turn off that part of her brain that worried about what they were getting themselves into. "Are...are you sure about this?" she asked quietly, "There's so much risk, so many things that could go wrong..."

"And so many things that could go right," he said reasonably, "It probably won't be easy, but I _know _you're worth it."

"You still think I'm worth it even after..." she trailed off, as if ashamed to have to say it aloud, but he clearly knew what she was trying to say.

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Like you said, we all have an ugly past. I'm not saying it was the best solution, but you were fifteen and probably scared out of your wits; I'm sure I would have done the same thing were I in your situation. I like you," he gently assured, "All of you – the good, the bad, and everything else. Besides, you accepted me even after you knew what happened, why can't I do the same?"

"You're too good to be true."

"So are you."


End file.
